045
FOUR
“Monica, you must understand that this partnership agreement
was written forty years ago. It clearly states that you and Ernst
are equal partners, and there's no buyout provision. You'Ll have
to negotiate a settlement with him, that is, if he’s interested. In
any event you most certainly cannot just fire him.”
“Mein Gott!” shouted Monica, slamming down the phone. No
attorney was going to tell Monica Tietze, the cofounder of
Kuchen Kitchens International, what she could and could not
do with Ernst Gude. She would do with Ernst Gude what she
wanted, when she wanted, and as often as she wanted. After all,
that’s precisely what she had done since she was 16 years old.
Forty years ago. in Hamburg. Germany, Monica and Ernst had
been teenage sweethearts. He had a natural talent for baking
that everyone in the neighborhood knew about. In a country
where virtually every' other corner was filled with a bakery
store, Ernst’s apfclkuchen, sachcr torts, and streusel were
prized by the locals. Every evening he would prepare the sweet
delicacies that Monica would sell door-to-door. By the time they
were old enough to attend the University, Ernst and Monica had
a thriving business along with a respectable savings account.
Then they had to make a decision: Should they open their own
bakery shop, competing head-on with the several hundred
shops already in the city, temporarily shut down the business
and attend the University, or ... ?
Monica had always wanted to live m the United States, the land
of opportunity. Thanks to persistent urging on her part, Ernst
finally agreed to move overseas for one year—just long enough
to discover whether or not they could duplicate their
hometown success in America.
Four decades later Kuchen Kitchens International had grown
into a worldwide franchise of bakery shops, including two in
Hamburg, and a chain of catering outlets with locations in every
major metropolitan city of the United States. Unfortunately, the
demands of a thriving business had caused Monica and Ernst’s
romantic relationship to fall by the wayside.
Midwife to the firm's prosperity, Monica oversaw every aspect
of the business, save one. The recipes. Those were Ernst’s
domain. Having expanded his culinary capabilities into gourmet
cuisine, he spent most of every day in his personal test kitchen.
Located adjacent to his office suite, Ernst’s test kitchen was
coveted by everyone who saw it. Monica had paid special
attention to the kitchen’s design, even accenting it with a wall
of floor-to-ceiling windows overlooking the harbor, simply
because that’s where she wanted her partner to stay—in the
kitchen and out of the business.
Nonetheless, roughly once a quarter she had to put out a fire
Ernst would start in any one of the seven countries where the
firm did business. He’d interrupt contract negotiations with a
new franchisee in Belgium, order double inventories tor a
catering warehouse in Japan, halt construction on a new site in
France, or, on a really bad day—call an emergency staff meeting
just to discuss a new letterhead. Monica had quietly resorted to
sending him on trips to research new recipes, while constantly
outfitting his kitchen with an ever-changing array of new and
expensive gadgets. As far as Monica was concerned, what had
begun as bothersome interferences had turned into full-blown
catastrophes. And what had begun as mutual love and
admiration had finally turned into full-blown distrust and flat-out
hatred.
This last go-around, the call from their friend and client Yolanda
Baccus, the head of purchasing lor Fairweather & Company,
put Monica firmly over the edge. According to Yolanda, Ernst
had offered to personally oversee altering for the groundbreaking
ceremonies of Fairweather’s new offices in Smithfield, but her
guests were due in 45 minutes, there were no food trucks in
sight, and she couldn't get ahold of him.
In quick succession, Monica made three phone calls. She
reached the manager of the Kuchen Kitchen Kateri ng outlet in
Smithfield, who had never heard of Ms. Baccus but did have
plenty of food and cakes on hand for her groundbreaking
ceremony. He and his staff were commanded into action. Next,
she called Yolanda back, apologized profusely, told her that a
choice selection of delicious items was on its way, and waived
the catering fee completely. And, then . . . Monica called her
lead corporate attorney, the senior partner of Lynch, Cahn &
Dodge, and got the worst news of her life.
As rhe pboiie slammed into its cradle, all of Monica s systems
ratcheted to Red Alert. Iler chafed nerve endings relayed their
message, *'Torpedo Room reporting. Vrapon ready."
“Gut,” came the reply.
A woman of Wagnerian stature, Monica Tietze strode out of hur
mahogany-paneled office in search of the quarry. The final
countdown had begun. She crossed the executive secretaries’
enclave, passed the huge inverted triangle shelves that held the
firm’s prestigious awards, and marched into enemy territory,
where she would find her target.
Monica stormed into Ernst’s executive suite and surveyed the
area. He was not at his desk. She reached the door to his private
kitchen, grabbed the knob, and yanked it open. There, next to
the stove, stood Ernst, spoon in hand.
“Ya, Liebling?’’ he asked.
That was another tiling she hated. He called anything with
breasts Liebling.
Then, right between his baby blue Augen, she let him have it.
The words roared out in rapid fire as she headed straight for
Ernst with the possible intention of ramming him broadside.
“Vas ist mil Yolanda? Du makes business trouble for last time! I
close your office. Du have only kitchen for vork. No more
mistakes. No more. Du are cine Katastrophe! Ist this, or I quit! I
quit! No more, Ernst. Ist you or me. Vliich you vant? You tell
me, Emst, Du tell me, in eine hour—cine hour. Ernst,
understand?”
Ernst dropped his spoon. A slight man who preferred “old
country'” sty led clothing, Emst looked toward the seething mass
of rage, and timidly asked, “Yolanda?'
“Mein Gott! You idiot!” Working her neon yellow stilettos from
the hips, Monica whirled about, gave it full throttle, and headed
for open sea. Ernst watched the slamming door careen into its
frame, bounce open, and come to its final rest against the floor,
victim of a broken hinge.
The smell of burning turned Ernst’s attention back to the stove.
Gude’s Gourmet Tartar Sauce, Version #1, had boiled its way
free of confinement and run from the top of the stove to the top
of Ernst’s shoes. He studied the sauce’s course, from point of
origin to point of destination, while he wondered what Yolanda
could ever have done to upset his partner so.
Monica decided to blow off steam by taking a walk along the
quay. That would give Ernst his hour in which to decide
whether or not to stay out of the business and in the kitchen,
once and for all. She stood in front of the elevator, busy with
her own thoughts, silently reaffirming the brilliance of her
ultimatum.
“He never get out of this trap. He can’t run business vithout me.
He do as 1 say. He stay out of business und in kitchen or I quit
und the company, the money, even test kitchen, vill all be gone.
Vhy,” she assured herself, “he don’t know the company
structure from a can of peas. Vhat vould he do vithout me? Just
vhat vould he do vithout me?’’ Monica’s coral lips spread into a
smile she reserved for special occasions. “Vhy, he fall flat as
souffle,’’ she concluded.
fhe elevator door jerked half-way open and then jerked forward
to close again when Monica shoved a five-inch heel in its path.
Pitching her formidable body sideways and exerting a single,
great shove, she forced the door fully open. The elevator's
temporary inhabitants stared at her.
“1st nothing,” said Monica, readjusting her jacket’s shoulder
pads.
As he walked into the Kuchen Kitchen offices, the Captain
detected the scent of burnt Tartar Sauce, bringing him to the
conclusion that Ernst was having a problem. He entered the
co-owner’s office and noticed the test kitchen s door ajar, one
hinge hanging loose.
“Ernst, my friend, are you in some trouble?” he asked. Peering
into the spacious galley, the Captain saw Ernst, wet dish cloth
in hand, cleaning sauce from his shoelaces.
While they had both known the Captain for many years, Monica
was the one who had spc nt the most time with him. Ernst had
never so much as gotten to know the fellow's real name. “Nein,
mein Captain." he responded with a shrug. “1st only Monica.
She ist angry' again."
The Captain fully reviewed the scene with its broken door.
messy7 stove, and ruined wing tips. “And what might have been
the cause of this anger?”
Tartar-stained wash cloth in hand, Ernst pointed to a cha«r
beside the art deco dining table, inviting his guest to sit down.
“Oh, ist only something mit Yolanda Baccus. I know not vhat
vas. Maybe bad vords.”
‘ Bad words?" asked the Captain, sitting down. “From Yolanda?
lliese words you refer to must have been potent indeed. The
Yolanda Baccus I am acquainted with is a most unlikely source
for such words. Should this be true, why is it Monica would
take you to task for such a thing?”
“I know not," said Ernst sadly shaking his head. “Monica und
me, ve have some problem, maybe."
“Well, my dear Ernst, prior to solving your problem, we must
be certain that we are solving the correct one. In these
instances, it’s always best to begin with Defining the Problem
Questions. Do you feel up to answering some questions in order
to solve this problem?"
“Ya, sure," came the weary answer.
“What do you think Yolanda might have done to upset Monica
so?"
“1 know not."
“Well, what was the last item you and Yolanda spoke about?"
“Ein parly for das office. Ein party. AuchV' Ernst slapped the
side of his face with the dirty cloth. “Ein party for—lor today!
Das I have forget!
“1 assume you and Monica were to attend it."
“Nein, nein. ve vas to kater."
Feeling that perhaps this problem could be readily solved, the
Captain’s hazel eyes studied Ernst from across the ornate table.
‘ Then this is what you forgot and what therefore caused
today’s exercise in target practice?"
“Vas no practice, mein Captain. Monica just say, she vant take
my office avay und give me only kitchen for vork. She say I go
from business or she go. In cine hour I tell her vas I do!"
Realizing now that defining this problem was going to take
longer than expected, (lie Captain pulled a little notepad and
pen from his shirt pocket. “My friend, an ultimatum is merely a
reflection of a problem; it is not the problem itself. Perhaps we
should continue.”
* ... ..... ’ ’
i a, sure.
“Wonderful. Now then, what do you feel might occur should
you simply ignore the problem?”
“1st no one vhat ignore Monica, Captain,” said Ernst.
“Quite right,” responded the Captain. “When did the problem
between you and Monica first appear?”
“America,” said Ernst. “She vanted come, so ve came. She
vanted run business, she run business. I cook. She go ein vay, I
go ein other.”
The Captain wrote down Ernst’s answer and then asked, “What
do you believe is the cause of this problem?”
“Ve no talk.”
“Why has this problem continued unsolved?”
“Ve no speak long time, und so, ve no can speak. 1st something
vas happens mit people.”
"Ernst, by assuming that change is impossible, you therefore
assume that nothing is possible. And not communicating isn’t
the problem. Merely a symptom of it.” The Captain continued,
“Do you really want to solve this problem? What if you simply
left instead?”
‘ Auch, nein Captain! Monica, she ist all to me.”
“What other things have changed in your relationship with
Monica?”
Ernst looked around the kitchen. “In Germany,” he answered,
“ve go dancing, ve in love, ve vant to marry . But business,
alvays business. So ve think later, maybe, later. But now ist too
late.”
‘ Look at tills from Monica’s point of view for a moment. What
might she be thinking?”
“Ya, Ya. She hates me. I alvays in vay of business. Business she
loves.”
“Have you ever asked Monica about this?”
‘ Nein.”
“What do you suppose you have done to add to this problem?"
“I cook, I travel, I not vith her much.”
“Ernst, if this problem is not resolved, what is it you fear losing
the most?”
“Oh . . . Monica!”
“And, what might occur should you attempt to speak with
Monica about this apparent problem?”
He cast his eyes toward the ceiling and answered, “I know
not.”
“Might you possibly consider this current situation to be an
opportunity to speak with her?”
Ernst looked down at the table, watching his finger draw circles
on ihe polished granite Finally, he said, "Maybe ve talk of this
. . . und then, maybe ve talk of other things.”
Allowing Ernst to begin to fully appreciate his own insights, the
Captain quietly studied his notes for a moment, underlining the
Word Bait:
The Captain gently tapped the table with his fingers. “Well, I
have an idea. What type of flower does Monica prefer above any
other?”
“Magnolia.”
Quickly writing in his notepad, the Captain said. “Then, my
friend, I suggest you immediately go to the flower shop
downstairs and get her a vase quite full of them.” He tore out
the page, handed it to Ernst and said, “Write this on the card.
Mind you, it will not be the solution in and of itself, merely a
step in the right direction.”
Ernst read the note and smiled. “Ya, Captain! Now, I see vhat
real problem ist!”
Monica worked her way back along the quay lined with fish
stores and restaurants. She entered Cannery Village’s courtyard
and immediately spotted the Captain standing alongside (he
fountain.
“My dearest Monica,” the Captain called out. ‘ Might 1 have but
a moment of your time?”
The Captain had given her considerable advice in the growth of
Kuchen Kitchens; at the very least she owed him the courtesy
of a response. “Ya, sure, Captain.”
As she approached he added, “1 understand that you and Ernst
might wish some assistance in solving a problem.”
Now just steps away, she asked, “Vhat, Captain?” In general,
Monica had come to believe that her partner had the attention
span of a ferret. For Ernst to discuss any situation with the
Captain, he must have finally located some facsimile of a
backbone. If nothing else, her lawyer would want to hear this.
He extended his hand in greeting. “What was it that I might
assist you with?”
“Ya, Ya. Captain,” conceded Monica, accepting his handshake.
“Ve have problems always mit business.”
“A few moments ago, Ernst allowed me to ask him some
questions to help discover what the real problem is. We came
to the conclusion chat it isn't Yolanda’s groundbreaking
ceremony, it isn’t his occasional straying into the company’s
business activities, and it isn't the ultimatum you gave him. In
fact, we came to quite another realization altogether.”
Monica was intrigued. “Ya?”
“Perhaps utilizing the same process, you and I might arrive at
(he very conclusion that Ernst and I did. Shall we give it a try?”
Curiosity was gelling the best of her. She warily agreed.
So the Captain began to ask Monica some of the same questions
he had asked Ernst. “If this problem should not be resolved,
what: is it you might lose?’’
Having convinced herself that it could never happen, Monica
mechanically answered. “Das company.’’
“Perhaps the added urgency to this matter might affect the
quality of a decision. Might there be any goodness in delaying
this impending confrontation?”
“Nein. Captain. Ist time now.”
4 Monica,” urged the Captain, “what other problems might be
associated with the present one?”
Hearing the sincerity in his voice, she looked up at him. “Ist
forty years, mein Captain. Ist forty years too late.”
“Monica,” he said softly. “What is the worst thing that can
happen should this problem not be resolved?”
i he thought of Ernst surfaced immediately.
As if he had read her mind, the Captain softly said, “Monica. 1
feel perhaps the three of us have discovered the real problem.
You and Ernst have simply forgotten you love one another.”
“Ernst loves his kitchen,” snapped Monica. “I must go now.”
She said a hasty good bye and headed across (he courtyard.
Monica entered her office and came to a full stop. There, atop
her desk, sat a huge crystal vase filled with (he biggest and most
magnificent magnolias she had even seen. Shu gasped, and
hurried over to them. There was an envelope. It was addressed
to Miss Tietze. She plucked it out and opened it. The card inside
read, “Monica, would you be so kind to attend the dance with
me on Saturday?” It was signed, “Love, Ernst.”
“Ya, liebling?” came the timid voice from behind her. Monica’s
eyes began to fill with tears. She turned and saw Ernst—in his
stocking feet.
“Ya, liebling!”
It’s amazing how many people go about trying to solve a
problem without first clarifying exactly what the problem is.
Sure, they have some idea about it, in a broad, general way.
Perhaps they want to come up with a new packaging design,
solve world hunger, write a book, or get into the film business.
Usually, they try to solve the problem like (his:
“I’ll just think about it and figure it out.”
“1 know! I'll bounce this off some of my friends.”
‘ Maybe a walk on the beach would help.”
They then proceed to think-think-think, hold a meeting, or put
the project off until next year. Sound familiar? Or, how about
this? When trying to solve a problem, do you doodle? Pace
around? Gaze at the ceiling, or even a little higher for divine
guidance? Clench your fists? Your teeth? How far does any of
that really get you?
The truth of the matter is that until you specifically define your
problem, both you and your pencil will be going around in
circles.
To define a problem, you need to ask yourself some specific
questions . . . Defining the Problem Questions. That’s how the
Captain helped Ernst and Monica. By asking questions, he
forced them to clarify the real problem . . . not just its
symptoms.
Clearly defining your problem is a matter of zeroing in on the
heart of it, progressively narrowing your focus until you have
pared it down into manageable proportions. The more
nebulous a problem seems, the more critical this step is.
Say you want to write a book. Good! What kind of book? Is it
going to be fiction, nonfiction, biography, autobiography,
textbook, or poetry? Will it be set in the past, present, or future?
Does it deal with business, science, health, cooking, travel, art,
or the circus? The more clearly you can state the problem, the
better.
For another example, suppose you want to create a new
packaging design. You could spend a great deal of time thinking
about all kinds of designs. You could travel the world studying
different packaging designs and still arrive home without any
answers, just because you haven't defined the problem.
You need to be more specific. So, what if you changed the
problem from “new packaging design" to "new packaging
design for food?" Better get your frequent ilyer vouchers out. . .
it’ll be another long trip. How about new packaging design for
tacos? Well, would it he for fish, chicken, or beef tacos? The
design would differ dramatically lor each.
If you reply “new packaging design for fish tacos,” you’ve
clearly established what the problem is simply by answering
questions that narrowed your focus. And look how these
questions have changed the words packaging and design into
real Word Bait!
See how’ the right questions helped an entrepreneur expand his
business:
Rick Raymond teaches at New York University and is the
president of his own environmental consulting company,
Richard Raymond Associates, Inc., in New York City. He
wanted to develop a new training program, but what type? By
working with Defining the Problem Questions Rick created the
new workshop, “Corporate Environmental Awareness Train-
ing.” “The questions helped me prepare a two-page synopsis
and a five-page description of the workshop; in essence a
business plan without the numbers attached,” says Rick.
The most difficult part of solving a problem is often how to
begin solving it. Defining the Problem Questions will sene as
icebreakers, helping you see just where to begin.
Sometimes you won’t know what the actual problem is until
you sec its solution. Other times, midway, you'll discover you
should have taken a different track, But you obviously must start
somewhere, and the following Defining the Problem Questions
are designed for just that purpose.
•
Think about a problem you’re currently trying to solve. Perhaps
you need to develop a new product, discover additional
applications for an existing product, create a packaging design,
generate variations on a story theme, seek a scientific
breakthrough, troubleshoot a problem, invent a process, design
a new machine, or plan an advertising campaign. To clearly
define your problem, read through the following questions.
Take 30 minutes to jot down your answers on a piece of
paper—your Bait Bucket. You needn’t try to answer all the
questions, because each one doesn’t apply to the same type of
problem. After the first question (it’s the most important for
everyone), you should choose only those that directly^ apply.
Underline the Word Bait in your answers and spend another 15
minutes fishing for your Catch—the solution to your problem.
1. What are you trying to accomplish? Consider:
What is the problem? What is the challenge?
What must be decided?
2. What if you were simply to ignore the situation? Might time
alone solve the problem?
3. If it won’t go away by itself*, is the problem really worth
solving?
Who agrees that this is an important challenge, and why?
Which relevant persons regard it as unimportant, and why?
By solving the problem, what do you stand to gain?
What do others stand to lose?
What is the worst that can happen if the problem is not
resolved?
4. What resources can you dedicate to reaching a solution?
5. How should decisions along the way to a solution be
reached?
Who should be involved in arriving at decisions?
Who should make the final decision?
In what manner should decisions be made (such as
unilaterally, by majority vote, by consensus)?
6. How will you know when you have achieved your
purpose? What are your criteria for success? For example:
What will people be doing well? How will they feel about
their work? How will they be getting along with each
other?
How will your own work be easier or more enjoyable?
What will you no longer have to attend to? What will you
no longer be concerned about?
7. Regarding your own interest in the matter, what are your
personal and professional reasons for working on this
project?
What risks or threats must you face in solving this problem?
What is most fearsome or threatening about the problem
itself?
8. How strong is your personal commitment to the effort? Are
you willing to invest the necessary time and energy?
Might you be overstimulated or too motivated to reach a
conclusion? How might this urgency affect the quality or
ethics of your decision?-
9. Whose problem is it?
Is it really your problem? What if you transfer responsibil-
ity?
10. When was the need or trouble first noticed? Did it occur
suddenly, or had it been developing for some time before
anyone noticed it?
How did it manifest itself? What were the symptoms or
indicators that something needed attention?
11. How did you become aware of the situation?
When did you become aware of it? How do you feel about
the liming, or about the way you were informed?
What else do you know about the history' of the problem?
12. What do you now understand about the cause or causes of
the problem?
13. Why hasn’t the problem already been solved?
14. What is the crux of the issue? To gain other perspectives so
you don’t solve the wrong problem:
Who can give you a different perspective on the nature of
the problem and the crux of the issue?
Whose point of view should be considered because the
person is directly affected by the problem?
What if you also get the perspective of at least one person
who appreciates the problem but who is not directly
affected by it?
What if you make believe that you are several different
people, viewing the same set of facts from various
perspectives (with different vested interests)?
15. What do you believe is the extent of the problem? (How
pervasive or widespread is it? What is its magnitude in
numbers?)
How quickly is the problem spreading or developing? What
is the risk of time passing without resolution?
What if you seek a temporary solution before a permanent
one?
Who can give you an unbiased perspective on the
magnitude or seriousness of the problem? (Perhaps
someone who has faced a similar challenge, or someone
outside your domain.)
16. How complex is the problem? What other problems are
linked with this one? How are thev interrelated? For
example:
How does one problem lead to—or result from—another?
What small problems add up to this big problem or make it
worse?
17. If you’re not fully aware of the assumptions guiding your
work, why continue wearing blinders? Consider:
Are you aiming at the right target? Are you working on the
right problem?
Have you oversimplified the problem?
What are you taking for granted about the urgency of a
solution? What if you just wait and see what happens?
What do you assume are the givens that can’t be changed?
What if you change them any way?
What are you assuming to be impossible? What if you tty it
nevertheless?
What procedures do you assume are necessary? What if you
skip them?
What “facts” have you assumed to be correct: How might
the information fool you?
What trouble can you redefine as an opportunity?
18. Have any of your answers to these questions changed your
thinking about the subject?
How has the challenge grown or expanded? What does it
now encompass?
Do you now see it as one problem, or as several interrelated
problems or sub-problems?
What do you now think is the root cause of the problem, or
what causes appear to be intermeshed?
What do you now believe is the crux of the issue?
Whose problem is it now? If it’s not yours now, why stay
involved?
Considering the big picture, what about this problem is
most important?
What is the most difficult barrier to a satisfying solution?
What is now your primary aim/goal/objective?
What about the problem is most urgent, or most in need of
immediate attention?
19. How do these changes in your thinking affect the decisions
that must be made?
How do the changes in your thinking affect the manner in
which decisions should be reached?
20. How confident are you that you have framed the central
problem, racher than a side issue or a false problem? (What
is your level of confidence, such as “95 percent sure'?)
How likely is it that the real problem will not be known
until you have reached at least a partial solution?
21. What are your thoughts about a final deadline for reaching
a satisfying conclusion?
22. Did your definition of the problem drastically change? If so,
return to the beginning of these questions and answer them
again with your new perspective in mind.
23- Who else is engaged in trying to solve this problem?
Who else should be involved? (What other groups,
agencies, and individuals share your interest? Why should
they participate?)
How can you enlist their participation?
Who is involved but should not be? Why is their
participation not relevant or not helpful?
Are any who are trying to solve this problem actually
making it worse? (In what way? What happens?)
How can you change the efforts that are not appropriate or
not helpful (as by remedial instruction, reassignment,
removal from the project, or asking the people what they
think)?
24. Whose attitude or behavior is the problem or part of the
problem?
What have other people done to perpetuate the situation?
(Who has done what, or failed to do what, and for what
reason?)
What have you done to perpetuate the situation?
25. Who has a vested interest in the status quo? How do they
benefit from things as they are—and what do they think
they’ll lose if the problem is solved?
Are those with a vested interest actually part of the
problem?
How likely is it that those with a vested interest will resist
your efforts? What form might their resistance take?
What thought have you given to coping with the
sell-protective behavior of those who wish to maintain the
status quo?
What thought have you given to mutual problem solving?
26. If the issue involves conflict between personal value
systems, how are emotions interfering with efforts to find a
solution?
27. What other emotions are interfering? For example:
What negative emotions—such as anger, envy, resentment,
mistrust, wounded pride, or protection of territory/turf—
are affecting the attitudes of those whose help you need?
How are the feelings expressed in people’s behavior?
What positive attitudes might also be interfering (such as
conscientiousness or extreme loyalty to company/col-
leagues)?
How are the attitudes expressed in people’s behavior?
How important is it to deal with the positive and negative
feelings before you forge ahead? What thought have you
given to the way this might be done?
28. If this is primarily a “people problem,” or if someone's
“misconduct” is of central concern, what is the nature of
the behavior, and who is engaged in it?
To whom is the behavior objectionable, and for what
reason?
What appears to be the purpose of the “misconduct”? (To
gain attention? To win a power struggle? To seek revenge?)
To check your analysis: How does the recipient of this
behavior feel when the person behaves this way? (Irritated?
Challenged? Defeated? Hurt?)
What other payoffs does the “perpetrator” gain from this
behavior?
What do you think the person is trying to say about himself
or herscif by engaging in this conduct (such as I’m
powerful . . . I’m brave . . . I’m smarter than you . . . I'm
important ... I need help)?
29. Who else do you think may be contributing to the behavior
by egging it on or approving of it?
What satisfaction or reward do those in the background
gain by tolerating or contributing to the “misconduct”?
30. What efforts have been made to stop or modify' the
behavior? (Who has done what with whom?)
How does the person respond to your efforts to stop the
behavior?
What happens when you steadfastly ignore it?
What happens when you allow logical consequences to
lake (heir course (such as allowing the person to
experience failure, rather than rescuing or covering for the
person)?
As a quick reference guide for your convenience, a listing of
these task-specific questions, along with those from other
chapters of The UteaFisber, is included in Part 4: Fishing Tackle.
Some folks go fishing for lots of reasons:
When they needed to select a new Musical Director, Pastor
Graeme Rosenau of Mount Olive Lutheran Church in La Mirada,
California, went angling before presenting the problem to his
special committee. According to Pastor Rosenau, “By going
through the Defining the Problem Questions, I was able to
develop a concise new job description that the committee
considered a major improvement over the old one.” The pastor
also uses this process to develop ideas for sermons, articles,
classes, and retreats.